I cried hot, salty
tears, my nose ran raw, and my throat itched. "You've just inhaled tear
gas," the red-eyed waiter breezily informed me.
I knew something was
wrong the second I entered the bar and saw everybody had scarves tied
around their faces. I was in Cherusker, Quito's only German
micro-brewery bar but the gassing had put me right off my foaming
stein of cerveza rubia.
“There was a man on
drugs,” the waiter said. “He got violent and refused to leave
so the doorman had to set off the tear gas.”
He had to? Sounds a bit extreme to
me and besides, who thought it was a good idea to give the bouncer a
can of tear gas anyway? These aren't diplomatic people, if you gave a
bouncer a bazooka he'd fire it at the first poor bastard to fail an
ID check.
Oh well, I shouldn't
grumble too much about being unwittingly subjected to chemical
warfare. Nobody else in the bar seemed too bothered and a litre stein
of their delicious, micro-brewed beer only costs five dollars. I stiffened my upper-lip and supped the beer with the grim stoicism of a Flanders' trench.
A night out in Ecuador
rarely passes without incident... and that's what's so fun about it.
I used to go to pubs in London at least twice a week for seven years
and not once did I get gassed, or chased down the street by a topless
taxi driver swinging a belt.
A night-out in Quito
typically means a night-out in Mariscal, home to hundreds of bars,
nightclubs, restaurants and hostals. It's lively, vibrant and neon
and rammed with drunk backpackers.
The borracho is a romantic figure in Ecuador |
But it's not confined to Quito. I was in a rock bar in
Ambato the previous week and Lucy and I were cornered by a swaying
piss-head. In England this guy have been turfed out into the street
about four beers earlier but drunks are tolerated much more in
Ecuador. In fact, the stumbling, slurring borracho is almost a
romantic figure bringing warmth and joy to the heart – a bit how we
see Father Christmas.
This drunk borracho was
excited because he had tickets to see Metallica in Quito. I quickly
learned it was the first time Metallica will play in Ecuador. He then
proceeded to tell me all the other rock bands who have never played
in Ecuador. It turns out Ecuador isn't really on the metal touring
circuit and there are a lot of bands who have never played here. Iron
Maiden, Kiss, Slayer, ZZ Top, Black Sabbath... the list felt endless.
But Metallica are playing in Ecuador, he reminded me. Then he told me
all the bands who have played in Ecuador... there were a lot of them
too, although I'd never heard of most of them. And Metallica, he
added for emphasis, are playing in Ecuador for “la primera vez”.
I nodded politely for the 98th time. Then he told me all
the bands who haven't played in Ecuador... it was a long night.
The best thing about the night was when Lucy couldn't remember the name for the pub and called it "the beer shop". From now on every pub shall be called "the beer shop".
The best thing about the night was when Lucy couldn't remember the name for the pub and called it "the beer shop". From now on every pub shall be called "the beer shop".
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