Burning idols is an
Ecuadorian tradition on New Year's Eve. Across the country the night
sky will be lit by an eerie amber glow as millions of dummies are
scorched on the streets.
The dummies are known
as Años Viejos and represent the year that has passed. Who you
choose to burn is entirely up to you, but typically it should be a
popular figure or icon from the last twelve months.
Of course you can get
creative and make your own doll, but there are plenty of ready-made
dolls for sale. They cost anywhere between three dollars and
twenty... depending how elaborate the effigy is.
Rafael Correa effigy |
Burn Barack |
Another popular choice
was the Ecuadorian footballer Christian Benitez who died of a heart
attack during a match in Qatar aged just 27. On the back of his shirt
was written the poetic message: “Now I'm by God's side and will
enjoy the World Cup 2014 from heaven.”
This is a crucial point – you don't have to hate the person you're burning (although it's probably more fun if you do).
There were lots of
stalls selling dummies inside Parque de la Carolina and I've never
seen so many copyright violations in all my life. To be honest, I
think the offenders would have a watertight case in defence - their
effigies are so unrecognisable that they couldn't possibly breach
intellectual copyright. Bart Simpson, for example, was just a fat kid
painted yellow, only identifiable by BART painted across his
forehead.
Copyright infringements ahoy! That's Bart Simpson by the way, although I'm not sure why he's blue |
At the stroke of
midnight the Años Viejos are torched like a Viking funeral. You jump
over your burning effigy and welcome in the New Year.
If all of this sounds a little bit too safe and tame, the locals fill their effigies with fireworks to make the leap of faith a bit more daring.
If all of this sounds a little bit too safe and tame, the locals fill their effigies with fireworks to make the leap of faith a bit more daring.
I haven't decided who I
will burn, but I suppose it will have to be somebody British.
The trouble is I can't
really imagine burning somebody I don't hate... and I don't really
hate anybody. Apart from Steven Gerrard obviously; and that guy from
the Go Compare adverts; and anybody who's ever auditioned for the X
Factor; and Luis Suarez of course; oh and I nearly forgot George
Galloway (and I'll throw in Ken Livingstone while I'm on cretinous
politicians); and then there's the person who cloned my Visa card;
Andrew Marr; Piers Morgan (goes without saying); all Royal
commentators on the BBC; Mark Lawrenson; the street dog in Quito who
barks all night; and finally Steven Gerrard again. God, it's going to
be quite a bonfire.
You really have to use your imagination to guess who the dummies are... could this be Sylvester Stallone or a young David Cameron? |
Burn Gordon Ramsay. Bonfire of the profanities.
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